POP AS A SON

It took me a number of days on thinking how should I manage to deliver this part and what shall I impart tonight in order that I would not be sounding “I love my own” and self-serving. But, perhaps this is now the right time and the last time maybe, that I may divert from the usual route and that you, Pop’s friends, may and should know who he is in our family as a son. Twenty-eight years ago at approximately 6 o’clock in the morning a baby, a healthy baby boy was born from me at the Infirmary of the Mindanao State University. A university that overlooks the beautiful scenery of Lake Lanao which embraces our Maranao brothers and sisters of the City of Marawi and the province of Lanao del Sur. It was during that very first moment that his tatay Melchor or “Echor” or “Bapa” shouted for joy when he informed his close friend, Edward Banawa, one of his godfathers, na “lalake brod! "

Pop, why named Pop? I chose Pop in honor and remembrance of the first visit of Pope John Paul II in the country that happened in February 1981. Why only a three-letter name and did not add another name? To make it easy to write his name when first learning to write and that would be easy for him to remember, were my reasons.

On his early years, he grew sickly that almost every month we have to have a medical check –up for him. At the age of 5 years, he began to be known in the tennis court of the University as ball boy or “pulot boy” to prepare him physically fit and bring his interest in tennis. This was then the first instance that Pop showed his being generous and deep concerns to the family because the pennies that he earned as “pulot boy” was remitted to me. “Nay o, ipuno palit ug pagkaon” were the first words I heard from Pop out of his fruits of hard labor that day. So touching that it crumpled my heart and burst to cry when I reminisced and prepared my sharing these words and precious moment to you. He also grew spiritually thru participating in catechism, Flores De Mayo, Christmas and Holy Week activities of the church.

As early as 6 years old his Tatay began to train him in tennis. It was the feeling of Tatay to let Pop follow his footsteps and to continue his dreams in tennis career. Indeed, he was proven to be a child with potentials. At the age of eleven years old he was already a member of the University Varsity Team and continued to be it till he graduated high school from the Integrated Laboratory School of the Mindanao State University (MSU-ILS). His achievements had not only lifted the name of MSU-ILS, the City of Marawi and the Province of Lanao del Sur but also the existence of Maranaws. There was even one spectator who saw his play during the Milo Age Group Master’s Circuit at Phil-Am, Quezon City who asked me where Pop came from. Pop was a very little boy that time aging 11 years old yet, but was able to get the trophy as Champion. I told him from Marawi City mam, and she asked further where Marawi City is? I said in the Central part of Mindanao, particularly in the Province of Lanao del Sur. When I asked her “why? Where are you living?” She said “I am from Impasugong, Bukidnon but have been residing in Manila for quite a number of years na.” I said to myself quietly : Over na man to, parang hindi Pinoy na sariling country nya hindi alam where Marawi City is? I-pareview ko kaya siya sa History at Map of the Philippines.” Yes, I was slighted that time at nayabangan ako sa kanya.

He was very much loved by the Maranaws that they could feel a different joy when they saw Pop especially during his games, much, much, much when receiving the trophies and awards of winning. He also played in tennis commercial, or “pustahan” games. Tatay’s objective was to let Pop earn confidence and that yung sinabi na may daga sa loob be overcome during games and prepare for his mental toughness and to become more fighter despite the leading score of his opponent. YES, he was really a fighter. The night before his finals in the 12 years under of the Wilson Age Group Tennis Championship at Quezon City Sports Complex, Quezon City he was admitted in the Philippine National Police General Hospital of Camp Crame, Quezon City because he could not breath well and was sophocated by the air pollution. Early in the morning I asked him " Unsa man mag pa default ka nalang karon?" "Dili ko nay oy, modula ko, kalain sab na mapildi ko sa default lang, dulaon nako. Kaya lagi nako." he answered. His health condition did not hinder to play the finals that day. We checked out from the hospital and he played the championship game. Indeed, he was the champion. His fighting spirit was really strong and high. Ages and sizes of players were not his reasons for losing the game.

With the intention to have the chance of playing with the group of national players, we permitted him to go to Manila for college education, instead of having enrolled in the University. At first there was a dilemma to choose between to pursue his college education or to focus in tennis training for national and international competitions as there was a good offer for his training from a prominent family too at that time. I made him decide after discussing with him the pros and cons of it. Finally, he chose both – education and tennis. He enrolled as a full time sports scholar in the De La Salle – Taft taking the degree of Bachelor of Sports in Physical Education, major in Sports and Recreation Management. Amid education, he continued to represent and bring honor to the country and ranked Number 4 as the highest in the national men’s category, a Davis Cupper or a member of the RP Team.

He boomed like the literal meaning of his name Pop. This showed him that he was already at the top of his tennis career. He started going abroad for tennis competitions at an early age of 16. He never asked any penny from us during his studies and sports competitions in Manila. In contrary, he was the one who sent us some financial support. Pop or Manoy (kuya) as his younger sisters and cousins called him was a real elder brother, caring, loving and concern to the welfare and future of his sisters and family.

Pop, however, was not a perfect person. In 2001, he got married at an early age of 19, while he was yet in college, to an 18 years old daughter of a prominent businessman in Marbel, now, Koronadal City. They were blessed with two kids – the beautiful girl – Lila and the handsome boy – Tonton. Despite of it, he was able to graduate with the degree pursued to in 2003. Family was his always priority and we never been detached from it. Job opportunities abroad came in after graduation but were not accepted as he preferred to stay in the country with his family. Pop has always been opened to us in all his affairs. But, sometimes keep secret to problems regarding his marriage relationships. His participation in tennis lowered. The immeasurable support from his in-laws during his early marriage found everything easy. Less time for the Lord but more on other things were accorded to.

I, as the mother, had always been his consoler during his dark days, dark days that even going home to Marawi City to talk to me and confide to me personally was very, very, very difficult for him. Jun, Delmer, Jonn and Vivi, thank you, thank you very much for those days where you continually outpoured unconditional love and care to Pop. Pop at that time was very much depressed because he was back to zero. A situation that brought him to the point that even cousins in Davao he did not want to talk with because of shame. He felt that he was of failure from all his dreams for his family. At that time the pain was in my heart already but I tried to remain strong so that he himself would try to move on, move on, forward, forward. Many instances that he showed to move on, but there were also many instances that it seemed he was pulled down back. Para bagang usad pagong at parang pagong’s head that goes out and inside the shell. I said to him nak, think of yourself now, tama na muna sa pamilya. Bumangon ka h'wag gawing miserable ang buhay mo. You have the potentials so use it. Prove it! Hindi ka nag-iisa, marami kayong magkatulad ngunit pinilit nilang bumangon. Kaya mo yan. Kung ano man ang nasa kalooban mo ngayon na negative, let it go and let the Lord handle it. Balik ka kay Lord. Kapit ka kay Lord parati, hwag mong bitiwan ang mga kamay ni Lord. Parati akong nagbibigay sa kanya ng mga words of wisdom thru text messages, even his closest friends did it, para lang mabuhayan siya ng loob. Pinuntahan namin siya dito sa Davao in December 2008 at hinilang magbalik sa paglaro ng tennis at doon sa pagpalo ng bola, hatawin nya ito ng malakas na malakas and shout ng dahil hindi siya mahalata. Ginawa naman din nya. And eventually he gained his confidence little by little and find strength. It took him several months and years to carry the pain. Until, October 2009 he told me that he will go home in MSU, Marawi City. An actuation of accepting who he is now kasi maayos na siyang makipagharap sa kanyang Maranao kapamilya. Lately, he decided to let go and move forward. Opportunities again to work abroad came out. And I remember this text from him “ mother synsa na ha..habaan m lang muna pasensya sa akin ha..i knw malaki pgkukulang ko sa inyo at dako pakaayo obligasyon nako sa inyo tanan, taman dili ta mahiluna(until hindi ko kayo mabigyan ng mas-masagang buhay), magiging ok ra tanan mother..everything you did to me is love..and I appreciate dat..one day makabawi ko sa inyo ni tay..daghan pako gusto ihatag ug ipakita sa inyo..everythings gano be alryt in due time mother..salamat sa unconditional love ninyo ni tay..grabe ang hirap ug sacrifice ninyo sa ako ug wala ko kalimut ana..i want to give you more of what you did and gave to me one day..will be ok…im still fighting in dis game of my lyf..”

As a matter of fact, naguunahan ang offer from Hongkong and Japan. Before his death, may ticket na siya for Hongkong. But again he was pulled down by putting him to a brutal death. Pop was an instrument from the Lord to work on dialogue of life and faith with Muslims and Non-Muslims, I should say. His name Pop was followed from the word Pope who was in the country for the first time in February 1981. Now, he returns to the Lord thru his brutal death on February 19, 2010.

Acceptance of Pop’s death is very painful and very, very, very difficult but in the other side of the picture, God loves Pop very, very much more than we do. The Lord was the sole witness of what he did, what he had done and what his future plans were. Perhaps the Lord does not want to let Pop feel another pain when pursuing his future plans. He loves Pop very much that the one bullet was allowed to finish the pain that Pop might be carrying. Before that sad incident, Pop was already preparing himself to be worthy to face the Lord as He calls Pop. He was able to say gentle goodbye to all those who he knew and reconcile aching hearts of grudge, fear and anger and finally, return and submitting to the Lord that His will be done thru reciting the Holy Rosary. The inner, true happiness was already felt by Pop during the short period he was in GenSan, an eternal joy that he has no longer felt the risk that night. Perhaps the mission of Pop in this world ends in 28 years only, but the impact, the moral, spiritual lessons that he left are everlasting.

It seems Pop is a star that every time he is in a certain place, some kids and other people usually gather round and called him “idol” after witnessing his game. His short stay in this world of ours has touched many hearts. This is evidenced by the messages flocking in his facebook. The shoutouts that he had sent before dying are so full of meaning and a manifestation that he was already ready to meet the Lord.

His body’s wrapping of white linen cloth when transported from the Labajo funeraria in GenSan to Davao City again was a living testimony of the dialogue of life and faith between Muslims and non-Muslims.

Special mention is accorded to few of our Maranaw friends like Abdul Ringia, Mike Cariga, Orak Mindalano and Rashdi Mindalano, who were there in GenSan funeraria extending their unselfish and brotherly help na naging sandigan namin sa panahong yaon kami ay punongpuno ng kalitohan. Of course, Dr. Lim and Mam Mariss, Titong Cansino Jr., the Regional Director of PHILTA, who offered his pick up for transporting Pop and to Pepot, Alex and Abe who were sitting down beside Pop’s body at the back of the pick-up; Toto Liango, the President of the Eco IV Tennis Clubhouse and Tito Manero who invited and offered us to be here; also to Engr Toto Mirapusco who followed up the necessary papers needed. I salute to you sirs. Sigurado ako na kung wala kayo doon that time maabotan pa kami ng umaga sa funeraria at mapilitang kumuha sa cabin ni Pop na 60k.

The genuine description of who Pop is was relayed thru the messages, calls, supports and responses we received after his death. What are those, kayo nalang bahala mag-explore please. My brothers and sisters in one God, let me share the messages shared by a popular paintor, Michael Angelo in his painting showed in Vatican City. In that painting, the Lord was carried by flying angels reaching out his hand to the man but the Lord halted in a very, very, very short distance. On the other side, the man was just very relaxed and did not show any effort to meet the right hand of the Lord that has been extended to him. My friends, the presence of flying angels in that painting elaborated that the Lord is in a hurry to extend His hand of love, care and concerns to us. In a little while however, the Lord halted, and give the man the freedom to choose what to do because of His great love to us. It does not mean wever that he stops extending his hand to us. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. In times of darkness in our life he is still there waiting for our hands to meet his extended hand. Kaya, I have been telling Pop na kapit siya kay Lord at h’wag bibitaw because the Lord’s love is never, never ending and, always an unconditional.

‘Nak, Pop, Poploy, Popsie, Pops, thank you so much for having you with us in a short period of time. The joys, tears and pains have helped us both grow stronger and stronger and stronger in our faith to the Lord and that there is really a loving God. Without dying, resurrection would not happen. Congratulations anak..you were able to make things right and fight troubles with faith, hope and Love. You have live life to the best that you can. GO IN PEACE ANAK….. SOAR HIGH AND MEET THE LORD……. WE LOVE YOU VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH!...

Nanay..